Wednesday, January 9

Chemo Arts Me


My fingernails are wearing the dark side of the moon. My toenails favor a similar style, accessorized in tender shades of red. I marvel at the way in which chemical healing tattoos survival on skin, in flesh, inside the bone.

Once upon a wee chat, while the tip of my left thumb danced kisses over the dark line dissecting my right thumb nail, a mouth that matters said, “I wish I could find the words to talk to you about what’s happening to you, express how I feel, how often I think about you. I am just so scared.”

I’ve yet to speak to that mouth, chant into that heart, sing that song about how scared I am not. But I’ll reshare my soul (after chemo arts me again).

reclaiming
the ways that made me
makes me more


the wee notes…
- I started blogging, all those years ago, because as a brilliant young mind recently reminded me, I believe that “maybe most of the world’s problems are caused by people not speaking out about them”. So, I am starting over. Well, I already started: I’ve reclaimed this blog, I have been rewriting old tales. I’m dying to tell you what AlmaMia Cienfuegos and I have been up to. But I’ve chemotherapy in a couple of hours, so I must wait. But soon...

what a woman, that Frida

47 comments:

  1. The title, the prose section and the haiku simply speak volumes of strength. I love the rippling effect of your words. Aah, how they spread courage. Love, love your sunlit words, dear Magaly.

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    1. And I love that you love them, Sumana.

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  2. Wow. I'll have to go back to read your notes. Right now I'm under the weight of your new poem. You have the art of lifting the largest stones and showing others how. Thank you for this truth, and you beautiful way with words.

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    1. Especially "But I’ll reshare my soul (after chemo arts me again)." Starts / arts. Right under my nose and I didn't see it.

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    2. The lifting is so much easier--even fun--when we do the lifting together.

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  3. I like the idea of your rewriting your old tales. I look forward to more!

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    1. It's an interesting (and enjoyable process). I'm having fun with it. I really hope you do, too, when they are ready. :)

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  4. Yes, your haiku says it real and true. It all makes you more. As Susan said, you show us how. Shine on, my friend!

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  5. A gorgeous and powerful write.

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  6. MOWR ALMAMIA!!!!

    OK the extra exclamation expresses my over caffeinated work state, but I am stoked to get the chance to revisit her world.

    Also, that senryu is just perfect. It's strength expressed in the space of a breath.

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  7. This is such a gorgeously worded and heartfelt poem, Magaly!❤️ You are a warrior, shining light of renewal and hope! Roar on!😘😘

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    1. Thank you, Sanaa. Roar on, I shall!

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  8. You are so strong and a really wonderful mentor to others. It seems we all get sick, and have to get well. Or we die, or we don't, and maybe remain sick...and still we seek the answers, so hard to find. You are telling the answers that work for you. Thank you. You are my hero!!

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    1. Doing what works for us and sharing the experience is a great tonic.

      Thank you for your words, Annell. ❤️

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  9. You are always so in tune with your body, Magaly!

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  10. Such a descriptive and touching piece. I agree with that young mind, "most of the world’s problems are caused by people not speaking out about them". And perhaps the difficulty to speak openly about these problems has to do with labels some are determined to attach.

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    1. I wish for the day when talking about and harvesting the benefits of said openness is the norm.

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  11. the haiku is a dizzying word play, that zings and sings .... carefully chosen, sparks with an intensity that says, "hell yes, I am" ...

    it makes for such a wonderful compliment to the self-observations, the slight wonder about how the body is changing in and of itself, during this fight, your fight - and how amazing is it that you marvel in its deconstruction-reconstruction? Brilliant. Just brilliant. And yes, attitude is more than half the battle, so sing on, howl under those blood crescent moons. :)

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  12. I read your stuff. I actually come here and read it. All of it. And it fills me. And keeps me coming back. It isnt a curiosity about that "c" stuff, or about the big "C" itself, but your mind and the words and thoughts that filter down through your fingers to the keyboard. I know you understand.��

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    1. Thanks a million (x13) for those words, JC.

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  13. It's so interesting that art (and by art, I mean all forms of creative expression) is not a delicate flower that requires ideal conditions to grow. It is no surprise to me at all that your amazing body is crafting wild, defiant motifs out of the trauma it is experiencing. ♥♥♥

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    1. I completely agree. Art turns into a fantastically daring thing, when we feed it. And let help it bloom.

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  14. Chemo is re-arting you inside and out. Fear is a byproduct of the unknown. But strength to face the unknown overcomes fear.

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  15. You are an Amazon woman Magaly, to be loved and feared at the same time. Many years ago my wife went through the same journey as you and fought her cancer with amazing grit and determination.

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    1. Thank you, Robin. I always love reading about your wife. She was obviously an amazing woman, to have been loved (and continue to be loved) so much.

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  16. Gorgeously gorgeous ��������

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  17. I’m a day late getting to read this, Magaly, and afraid that everyone has said what I’d like to say. Here goes anyway.
    That’s a beautiful and original way to describe your fingernails as ‘wearing the dark side of the moon’. I’m happy that those ‘chemical healing tattoos’ are doing their job and you are feeling well enough to rewrite old stories. Don’t forget to speak to the mouth that matters. xxx

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  18. As always my lovely friend you weave imagery into your words wherever they are. That is why I love reading your words so much. I am so sorry you are having all of this and I am wishing you well this evening xxx

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    1. Thank you so much for the wishes, dear June.

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  19. Think your words are helping others get strong and reclaim their lives as well...bravo.

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    1. And thinking that, believing it, makes me stronger. It's the best of circles!

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  20. Heartfelt and powerful. How I wish I had your strength... but of course I have told you that before. This is a gorgeous write!

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    1. And as I've always said back to you, we both are super-strong souls--our power is packaged and expressed in different ways because our needs demand it to be so. I admire the way you deal with your trials, the way you don't let the beast have you. We might have to walk with out life-given-demons, but never without a fight that allows us to get a kick (or 13) in every chance we get. And that is when we roar and recharge for the next fight. Together in cleaning tears and slightly-mad cackles.

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  21. I love the rippling effect of your words.

    have a great day

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    1. And I love that you let know so. Thanks so much. I hope you, too, have an amazing day.

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  22. I love your use of “dark side of the moon”. The haiku is simply perfect.

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  23. What a woman, that Magaly!
    Big Hugs!

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